Quintin O’Dillmotte has, at least for the moment, been strangely quiet. The O’Dillmotte Funeral Parlor is pleasantly adorned, even though its primary business is not one folks naturally think of when Christmas is near. No one says, “Hey, kids, after dinner we’re gonna go look at the Christmas lights at O’Dillmotte Funeral Parlor!” Maybe Quintin saw the light and decided to step back, reassess, reevaluate, redesign, reexamine, and to everyone’s relief, remain reticent. Probably not.

Sheriff Pete Terkinberry hasn’t received any more strange phone calls from anyone claiming to be Sylvia Meisner, but he isn’t relieved. He did, however, take a few calls from folks asking about the “Dear Doctor” column in the Maple Valley Spur. No one seems to know who Doctor Wackstuber is, so, in typical Maple Valley fashion, rumors are swirling.

Callers have asked about “S.M.”, someone who wrote in to Dear Doctor and asked for advice about a secret. Pete didn’t know anything about the column because he doesn’t read the Spur, not considering the paper a good source of information about Maple Valley. So he found a copy of the paper and read the column for the first time.

“Dear Doctor, I’ve been keeping a secret. Uncovering it will hurt a lot of people. What should I do? Signed, SM.”
“Dear SM, it’s difficult for me to give you an answer. If keeping the secret longer will cause more pain, it’s probably best to reveal it now.”

The sheriff had to admit the information was intriguing. Everyone who called Pete about the column wanted to know if he thought S.M. could be Sylvia Meisner. He immediately assumed Doctor Wackstuber, whoever he is, had no idea who S.M. might be, or he probably would have responded to the question differently. Since reading the column, Pete feels like he has to find two answers. Who is S.M., and who is Doctor Wackstuber?

Maple Valley School students are excited about their Christmas program. Mrs. Hicklemy wrote a special play for her fourth grade class to perform, called, “Who’s Stuck in the Chimney?” Nine-year-old Jorbin Bingle has the lead in the play because he is just the right size to fit in the chimney. Everyone will be able to see and hear little Jorbin because the chimney Mrs. Hicklemy’s class built has only three sides.

Fifth graders will sing three songs, “Santa’s Belly Jiggles,” “Rudolph Has a Girlfriend,” and, “Grandma Made Snowball Jelly.”

Mrs. Bergwiller’s kindergarteners will wear star costumes and dance around the cafeteria stage as the sixth grade band plays a Maple Valley favorite, “The Starry Eggnog Waltz.” Hearing this popular song will bring tears to parents’ eyes because it’s the last Christmas song their little musicians will play before moving up to seventh grade.

Most visitors who come to Maple Valley during the holidays are not aware of the ordinance by which villagers celebrate them. Everyone must have their Christmas decorations on their houses and lighted by the Saturday before Thanksgiving. All Christmas trees must be real, and purchased from The Women Who Mean Well fundraiser, held the last week of October. The trees are prepaid during the fundraiser, and then harvested at the Gilben Yorks Christmas Tree Farm in Lubikin City.

Most villagers willingly obey the Christmas law, by which it is commonly known, others make it an annual opportunity to go before the Maple Valley Village Council to complain. All objections to the Christmas law must be filed with the council by 3:00 p.m., the Tuesday before the Halloween Maple Valley Town Council meeting, when all council members appear in their Halloween costumes to conduct the business of the village.

Everyone in Maple Valley is ready for the holidays. The decorations are up, the music is playing, the pies are baking, and the eggnog is flowing. It’s going to be another great Christmas in Maple Valley.