No matter what you’re talking about, they always turn the conversation around so it’s about them instead of you. Have you met those people? It doesn’t matter what you’re going through, trying to share your heart, you walk away thinking, “Did they hear anything I said?” Probably not.
You can be in pain, obviously hurting, maybe crying, but somehow, the other person’s experience is so much worse you really don’t have a right to feel what you’re feeling.
Are they so terribly self-centered they can’t hear anything but their own voice? Possibly.
“You shouldn’t feel that way,” is a classic, hurtful, ignorant comment some people make with good intentions. They’re trying to remove what you’re feeling, not by listening or understanding, but by making a sweeping statement that is supposed to fix everything. It never does.
Feelings, emotions are what they are. We each have our own, influenced by our own perspective and experiences. They belong to us.
Sometimes people feel their own grip is shaken by what you’re feeling. Their own personal control is rocked by your experience, so they try to sweep yours away so it doesn’t influence them.
We all need friends who know how to hear and listen. They may not understand what you’re feeling but if they let you walk through and express your feelings it’s helpful, even if it’s just having another person with you who allows you to hear what you’re saying.
One thought on “Hot Coffee Conversation: “You Shouldn’t Feel That Way””
I’ve definitely met ‘those’ people and unfortunately have probably been one of them at times. Its difficult when you finally get the nerve to share how you feel with someone, and they downplay it or negate how you’re feeling. It makes me much less able to share the next time. 💞