Therapy Thoughts for Friday: Self-Talk

Do you talk to yourself? How do you feel about talking to yourself? Is self-talk a good thing? Is it bad? Don’t know?

Do you ever say positive things to yourself? If you say something nice to yourself, do you believe you?

Whoever told you that you shouldn’t say good things about yourself didn’t want you to feel better about yourself than they do about themselves. The old saying is, “Misery loves company.” I would add, “And misery doesn’t want you to escape.”

I believe self-talk is one of the fastest ways to get out of the crap-self-mode. Say positive things to yourself you wish someone else would say. (By the way, I just made up the “crap-self-mode.” You’re free to use it if you want to.)

When was the last time you purposely said something positive and uplifting about yourself? You didn’t wait for someone to say something so you could deny it and act bashful. You flat out said, “I am really successful at what I choose to do,” or “I look in the mirror and I see a person I really like.”

Don’t decide what you say to yourself based on comparisons with others! This is between you and you. Don’t imagine what others would think if they heard what you say to yourself!

Here is a little introspection. Not one time, and I’m not exaggerating for effect, not a single time in my life did I ever hear my father say to me, “I’m proud of you, son.” Not once. The one person I so desperately needed to hear support from miserably failed to give it. I suspect he never heard it from his father, either, but that doesn’t excuse him. It was his responsibility to break the chain of shame. He didn’t.

It is possible to begin improving the way you may feel about you with self-talk. You and you alone, looking in the mirror, or even just in the mirror of your mind, and saying, “I really like you. I’m proud of you. You are amazing!”

Say it! I really like you! I’m proud of you! You are amazing!

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