Wednesday Whys: Up North Camping and Stuff

Camping is a conundrum, isn’t it? I mean, think about the conversations before a camping trip. Especially for those who have never done it before. That conversation might go something like this.

“Honey, I have a great idea!”

“Oh? What is it?”

“Well, I thought we should pack enough clothes for the kids to last for seven days. We’ll pack up clothes for ourselves, but maybe we won’t need as much.”

“Alright, but why would we do that?”

“Well, I thought maybe we would pack up the kids, the dogs, the lizard, and the chinchillas, and go away for a week.”

“Where are we going to go?”

“Well, I thought we would go camping.”

“Go what?”

“Camping.”

“Why would we do that when we have perfectly good beds to sleep in and a house to stay in?”

“Well, I just thought it would be good for us to get away.”

“Where are we going to sleep? What are we going to eat? What are we going to stay in?”

“I have it all planned.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. You haven’t answered my questions.”

“We’re going to sleep in bags in a tent.”

“What? What kind of bags?!”

“Sleeping bags!”

“We don’t have sleeping bags, do we?”

“No, but we’ll get some.”

“And what about eating? What are we going to eat? And how are we going to cook food?”

“Honey, we’re going to eat the same food we eat here. We’re going to cook on a stove. We’ll keep the food in a cooler with ice in it. We’ll use a screen tent with a picnic table in it to keep us out of the rain…”

“Wait. Keep us out of what?”

“The rain. Not that it’s going to rain, but just in case it does, we won’t get wet.”

“What kind of a stove are you talking about? We don’t have a stove that works outside.”

“It’s a gas stove that sits on top of the picnic table.”

“I’ve never heard of a gas stove that sits on top of a picnic table. Do we have one of those?”

“No, but we’ll get one.”

“What are we going to sleep in?”

“A tent.”

“What kind of tent? Why a tent? Why can’t we sleep at a hotel? Then we wouldn’t have to cook outside, eat outside, and probably get soaked in the rain. Do we have a tent?”

“No, but we’ll get one.”

“Ok, wait. Let me get this straight. We’re going to buy a tent because we don’t have one. We’re going to buy sleeping bags and a stove that works outside. Do we have a cooler?”

“No…”

“But we’ll get one, right? We’re going to pack up everything we own, including the animals, leave our comfortable home with our beds, refrigerator, stove, table, couch, chairs, carpet, lights, bathroom… Wait! Wait just a minute!! What about bathrooms?!!”

“Well, that depends on where we go. But what I want to do is bushwhack.”

“Bush what?!”

“Bushwhack. It means we go somewhere in the woods where there isn’t anything but nature. No electricity, no running water, nothing.”

“What about bathrooms?! How do we go to the bathroom?!”

“Well, we dig a hole…”

“That’s it! Nope! Not doing it! If you want to go bushwhack, you buy yourself a bag and a tent and go bushwhack all you want. We’ll be right here when you get back!”

I love camping, don’t you?

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