Friday Fries

French fries are a miracle of culinary ingenuity. Where else can you find something so perfect, so incredibly delicious, so amazing in a few quick bites?

Which French fries do you prefer? Are you a McDonald’s fry fanatic? Do you put anything except salt on your McD fries? Of course not! McDonald’s fries are the only ones in the world that scream, “Don’t dip me in that!!”

If McD fries are hot and fresh, they’re terrific. If they’re beyond their life cycle and luke warm, they’re nasty. Ever gotten a bag of McD fries that were the crunchy burnt end pieces instead of real fries? You can break your teeth on those. Dogs love them, by the way.

Do you always look for the stray fries in the bottom of the bag? They’re actually the best ones in the whole bag. In their attempt to escape to freedom they fell into the bag anyway, but the effort shows they really are the best ones. The other fries just climbed into the box like most good fries do, followers instead of leaders.

My most wonderful memories of hot, scrumptious, mouth-watering McDonald’s fries was when I ate them with the old fashioned, huge, delectable cinnamon rolls McD used to have. Those cinnamon rolls were not twisted cardboard with crunchy white stuff on top. They were huge, soft, bulging with cinnamon and butter, made with real yeast dough, and smothered in icing.

I went to McD’s just for those cinnamon rolls as often as I could. I also ordered extra icing. Sometimes the icing dripped out of the container. I didn’t care. I could tell by the weight they had fully granted my request for more. I dipped the hot, thin, salty fries in the icing, and ate them. Then, I devoured the cinnamon roll and immediately started thinking about the next time I would get away to have another one.

Where do you get your favorite French fries? You might not have “Culver’s” in your area, but they have amazing fries. They’re thicker than McD’s and rippled. They require ketchup, not because they don’t taste good enough by themselves, but ketchup increases the delightfulness.

At a few restaurants, I have had breaded fries. Are you kidding me!? Breaded fries!? Maybe they don’t call them breaded, but they’re dipped in something before they’re deep fried. I call that breading. Anyway, they’re incredible.

What about “steak fries?” These are fries that look like small deep fried slabs of wood. Delicious.

Have you had cheesy fries? How about chili fries? I love cheese, and chili, and French fries, but not together.

French fries have different names around the world. “Chips” is a name that comes to mind. When I was young I had fries in a bag with vinegar on them. We were in Canada on a fishing trip.

I would love to hear about fries where you live. I wonder where “burger and fries” came from. Who decided burgers needed French fries? What about “fish and chips?” Whoever decided burgers needed fries and fish needed chips, I’m glad they made the call.